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[cagedinflesh]

lockets, compasses or action! or whatever else really

fun roulette, which personality will it be, you just can't know
unless you do know who you want, then say so

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[depicted]

[For a moment, Dorian can only stare at Jekyll. Until an incredulous, almost angry sensation overtakes him. So earnest Jekyll's expression! So earnest his concern!]

You truly think it is right to ask such a thing? That I wish to have the full horror of my experience brought forward along with the shame of an affection unreturned? You genuinely believe this is consideration on your part and not a further cruelty? Why would I want to discuss such a thing? What purpose is there in bringing it to light except to mock at?

My God, Henry! You don't understand anything, do you? At least Edward has the dignity of knowing when he causes harm!

[cagedinflesh]

No, I do not mean to mock you at all, Dorian! I realise it to be a rude thing to ask so plainly, but I fear causing you pain through willful ignorance.

[He bites down on his lip, bowing his head.] Of course you are right, however. I should not have pressed you, instead I was only ignorant to how cruel it would truly be. But speaking truthfully and candidly, I do not know how I feel at all.

[depicted]

[It stops Dorian in the middle of biting back. The start of a word, and then Dorian hesitates again.]

I don't understand what you mean.

[cagedinflesh]

Nor do I.

[But how can he make an attempt to explain it? He brings a hand to his mouth, brushing his thumb against his lower lip.]

I can never be certain what is solely Hyde, and what he has inherited from my own feelings, even if those feelings are greatly exaggerated in him. I am so used to denying what I feel that I have no idea at all how to determine. However, I do bear you a great love, Dorian, that much is certain.

[It's just...what exactly that is. And that is a question not only for Dorian, but many others as well.]

[depicted]

You . . . mean to say that you might . . . have a romantic inclination towards me?

[What is this confession.

What the hell even, Jekyll.

STOP CONFUSING HIM HE DOESN'T ?????

(And at the possibility, hope leaps in his stomach. He wants this. He wants Jekyll to love him. He wants Jekyll to desire him. He has committed his heart to Vanessa but he is still hungry for love, and he wants Jekyll's every way he can have it.)]

[cagedinflesh]

I've no idea, but it is a possibility, yes.

[It's not only confusing, which brings some amount of fear, but embarrassing. So he tries to smile through it.]

...This is the reason that I must continue to reiterate, how I beg you to always be true to yourself, so you shall never be like me.

[depicted]

Do you want to find out?

[The words spill out before Dorian can stop them. And he flushes instantly, not for the could.]

I mean—so that you know yourself. And the nature of your feelings. For the knowledge.

[cagedinflesh]

Certainly I do, however, that is far more easily said than done, is it not?

[#oblivious dweeb 2k701]

[depicted]

No—you have . . . [No, he can't say it. His voice becomes nothing and he shakes his head.]

[cagedinflesh]

[For a moment he can only give Dorian an inquisitive look, waiting for something more. But once Dorian shakes his head, Berserker realises what's meant, the inability to speak further says it for him.]

Ah- but, I couldn't ask that of you, after all, there is Miss Ives.

[And Hyde kissed him before he killed him. Also that.]

[depicted]

[Dorian turns redder even still, and he hastens to defend his position.] It wouldn't be romantic! Not an . . . adultery.

Just an experiment in your tastes.

[cagedinflesh]

[He would say no immediately, but, 'for the knowledge', 'an experiment', those are phrases he can't ignore. Anything for science and knowledge. He willingly tested a dangerous drug on himself for that reason, why wouldn't he take a simple kiss?]

...An experiment, you say?

[depicted]

Only an experiment. Nothing more or less.

[Good job justifying that to yourself, Dorian.]

[cagedinflesh]

Well, if you are certain, then I suppose...

[He speaks with his hands more than ever now, in some attempt to act as if there isn't any discomfort.]

[depicted]

[He isn't. He hesitates. He looks in Henry's eyes, he flickers his attention to Henry's mouth. But he doesn't give himself time to think past that moment, for his desire comes in a wave that overcomes his doubt. This time, when his mouth meets those lips, he has control.

Perhaps it is telling that one of Dorian's hands has found Berserker's neck for this kiss. But it is a good kiss, a meant one, even as it is fierce and commanding. Dorian's desire is not only to sate the hungers of the flesh. He kisses to make a claim on Berserker: this man is his. Dorian will not be harmed by him again.]

[cagedinflesh]

[Jekyll feels his own cheeks burn, and thinks that he must be terribly embarrassing for it. And it's strange. He's felt his affections for Dorian tug in many different directions, but he still can't distinguish. Because he doesn't even know himself. Moreover, it's not at all what he might expect from Dorian - he feels the command in it, and maybe even understands the reason.

But he returns it, because whether or not he can determine the nature of his love, it is good. He doesn't allow himself this, and it feels good to give in to an innocent pleasure. He places a hand on Dorian's cheek, with only slight hesitance. And then he draws back, covering his mouth with a hand to try to hide some of the embarrassment.]

[depicted]

[And Dorian is as uncertain as Jekyll is, pulling away. For in truth, that was, too, Dorian's experiment, and he does not know the results. Does he feel better? Does he feel like he has more control, does he feel less violated and used?

He doesn't know.]

Well?

[cagedinflesh]

...I...still can't say, exactly, but, well - it was not unenjoyable... Which I suppose certainly says something.

[Which is a roundabout way of saying he was actually into it and just can't find a way to actually put that without being awkward. So if nothing else, maybe he can start to admit that he has some attraction to men... Something to check off of Hyde's list.]

[depicted]

I don't know what.

[Is he sulking a bit.

Maybe.

JEKYLL DOESN'T LIKE HIS KISSING]

[cagedinflesh]

--Ah, no, what I mean is that it was quite good, in fact!

[PANIC

NO DORIAN HE LIKES YOUR KISSING REALLY HE'S JUST A WEENIE]

[depicted]

Don't say that just to appease my pride, Dr Jekyll.

[SO OFFENDED HE IS GOING FULL ON VICTORIAN REBUKE THERE]

[cagedinflesh]

No, truly, I would not tell you such a lie! You must forgive me, I simply do not have the wherewithall to express myself!

[NO DON'T CALL HIM DR JEKYLL]

[depicted]

[HE WILL HE WILL CALL HIM DR JEKYLL THAT IS HOW DISPLEASED HE IS.

how strange, the side-effects of being murdered by someone you like]

How should I believe you?

[cagedinflesh]

I would kiss you again if you would allow me!

[depicted]

[Dorian opens his mouth to reply—

And his expression collapses. Dorian's breathing stops, staggers. His palm cover his mouth, his fingers his eyes. He is trying very hard not to start sobbing again.]