cagedinflesh | IC Contact

IC Contact

lockets, compasses or action! or whatever else really

fun roulette, which personality will it be, you just can't know
unless you do know who you want, then say so

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Now there's an intimate, kind gesture Jekyll wasn't expecting, and now feels all the worse for. He should have told her well before she came across his other half.

He dips his head.]

And you as well. I apologise for causing you to worry, but truly there is no need. I am perfectly all right.

If you truly are well, then you are entirely forgiven, Doctor. That is ever what is most important to me. You are of my land, my people; a friend, and a part of my home, whether it be here or in England.

( She quiets, voice lowering to a hushed whisper as she leans forward and meets his eyes. ) My loyalty will ever be first to those of my homeland, and those whom I come to care for here.

( Then, she leans back, her hands remaining where they are for the moment, to reassure him. )

Now, please. You may trust me implicitly in this matter, Doctor. As I do you.

You truly are far too kind, it's no wonder you're to become such a beloved ruler. It- if it would please you, you may, of course, use my name in any fashion. Although you might wish to hear the truth of the matter first before such a decision...

[He squeezes her hands in return, raising his head enough to look her in the eye. As much as he might like to hide, the least that he can do is to at least meet this confession head-on. Heart pounding in his chest, he takes a deep breath.]

I had always wished to embody a certain ideal, to be good and just and worthy of much respect. So I accepted all that my society preached as absolute truth, and sought not only to reach but exceed that standard, to be the very model of propriety. And I - I enjoyed being that man, it was not against my nature by any means. Only it very pointedly excluded aspects of myself I wished would not exist, that from time to time I might indulge in secret and still feel an overwhelming sense of shame. So great was that shame that I turned my research solely upon one goal: to do away with the shameful part of myself - or rather, to eliminate the concept of evil entirely. If I could remove those desires in myself, then perhaps the entire world could be treated - how wonderful the world would be with only goodness.

[He pauses, presses his lips together.]

And so I was my own test subject when I did come across a formula I believed would work. The effect, however, was quite the opposite of what I hoped; it gave the evil its own form, its own life, and what's more increased it tenfold or more. By use of this drug I would become Edward Hyde and give in to the baser aspects of myself I so detested, and far worse still. In returning to myself, I would be filled with horror, yet at the same time absolute exhilaration. So I used it willingly, so that I might remain my good self in the eyes of others, and still experience pleasures I would forbid myself, through some sort of shared experience with another. That is what I thought of Hyde as, someone else, some monster who shared my body but that I could use in such a way, not at all part of myself. But the truth is that he is very much myself, simply my other half, and the more I allowed myself to become him, the greater power he held over me, until I eventually began to change against my will.

And that is what you met, my other self.

( Well. Elizabeth turns pale, her lips pressing together firmly as the explanation wears on. This is not at all what she had initially expected to hear. Maybe he had hit his head, or something magical. What he describes is something which at the very least sounds somewhat magical to her, because she does not yet understand science in the least.

There is a sense of irony and déjà vu, for several months ago, she had stood quiet before Dorian, as he admitted a dark secret to her. The Doctor has not sold his soul, so much as divided it in two. Entirely different, and yet entirely the same, because she cannot accept one and deny the other. How can she fault this man, to whom she now feels drawn to by a profound sense of empathy, judge when she, too had put on the smiling face and appearance of a good person whilst harbouring skeletons in her wardrobe?

She cannot. Breathing out levelly, she squeezes his hands once before letting them go. )

I understand. ( She says , simply, and bows her head. ) The situation, your reasons—even him, and his nature.

One day, perhaps, I will explain the why of it to you. Suffice it to say that I walk in darkness as much as do you, and others here. I am not saintly.

And I can do no other than accept you as you are, Henry Jekyll. As my countryman, my liegeman, and my friend. Now and always.

( Taking his hands once again, she smiles softly at him. ) Now, there is no need to take that walk alone any longer.

[He returns that smile as best he can, bowing his head again. Elizabeth truly is too kind. Being what he is, Jekyll can easily believe it to be truth when she says she has some experience there. But at the same time it still seems beyond comprehension. ]

I wonder if that is not part of the trouble. A dear friend of mine in life was a novelist. He wrote a story after my death of the events surrounding it. Because of that book, I am known throughout the world, and able to be what I am now. I believe it was mentioned briefly, at one point, that I am much older than I appear now, and simply a soul summoned forth. Beings such as myself are called Heroic Spirits, heroes remembered throughout the ages for their greatness. However, I am of a certain sort which are quite the opposite, not remembered for goodness in the least, comprised of and making up all the evils of the world. What's more, the things I have done as Hyde go far beyond simple cruelty, they are not only deviant, they are truly monstrous. This is far more than mere darkness.

[That...most likely sounded far too dramatic.]

The book is here if you have any interest. As much as it is rather embarrassing and shameful for me, there is certainly some pride for my friend's accomplishment.

You are.. a spirit, then? Immortal? ( Souls are ever that to a Catholic. No matter her relationship with the Almighty, she will never not believe that one's spirit is eternal. And it is a far more pleasant a thing to focus upon than the fact that he is otherwise dead. )

There must ever be a counterbalance. ( She softens her voice, and squeezes his hands. There is no excusing these monstrous things which Hyde has done. But. ) Every story must have a villain as well as a hero, or there can be no story. Hector and Achilles, Theseus and the Minotaur; Cleopatra and Octavian.

I will never excuse these actions he has taken. Nor your enjoyment in them. What I can offer you instead is understand, and forgiveness. Even as I seek both for myself.

( She debates upon whether or not she should speak of her own experience, and decides to, in the end. Not simply because he should know the manner of monarch he has sworn himself to, but also because now that he has offered her a free perusal of his catalogued misdeeds and atrocities, she, also deserves to have her own sins be thus put on display. )

When I was seventeen, my father died. My brother was to be crowned, but never made it to London freely. My mother took my sisters, youngest brother and I into Sanctuary, where Richard surrounded us with soldiers. They came for my brother Dickon, and they believed they had left with him. Neither were ever seen again. I heard Melusina's lament upon the Thames, faintly, like a lullaby. And I knew that whomever had done it, the boys were dead.

My mother and I cursed their murderer's line, so that they might share in our pain by knowing it themselves. And so it shall be. The line of Henry Tudor will end with a virgin girl, and then nothing.

I could never imagine that it would be my line, also. I have cursed my own unborn children, Doctor. Unless I never wed Tudor at all. ( Gently, she takes the book from him, accepting it as she now asks him to accept her. )

That too, is far more than darkness, I suppose. There is no excusing my sins, either.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

IC Contact

» action

» action

» action

» action

Re: » action

» action